Salivation on the train


Half way through a 5 hour journey to Norwich, it’s 6.30pm and I’m hungry. I have a 20 minute stopover between stations and there are a myriad of options for food. Wanting to make some effort on the ‘healthy 2014’ objective front I buy a chicken and sushi rice salad with low fat crisps and a sugar free drink. Well done me. I also like to think I’m one of the considerate train diners  who doesn’t buy and consume smelly food for fear of disturbing other passengers. Feeling mildly smug with myself, I open my bag and proceed to consume my mouse size portions of edible virtue.

One of the ladies opposite me on the table seat has clearly gone for the extreme January dining affair, loudly crunching on raw carrots, celery and peppers carefully chopped up and prepared in a big plastic box. This sounds and looks frighteningly, epically tedious.

A young woman sitting next to her, and directly opposite me proceeds to bring out the big guns, the brash, brazen, wholly inappropriate but crushingly satisfying … Burger King Whopper and fries. She makes no apology for the smell nor the fat content, given it is the 2nd week in January and we are on a packed train.

I watch transfixed on the size of it, literally salivating as I imagine how deliciously tasty it is. The hot beef, crunchy salad and burger sauce melange creating a veritable food orgasm for the groaning belly of a train diner.

Carrot lady and I are clearly still fractiously hungry, scratching about to try and keep ourselves occupied and focussed away from gnawing our arms off.  I’m seriously teetering on the edge of asking for a bite, as the fantasy and temptation of being so close is all too much to bear.  I will clearly be having to grab something unhealthy when I finally get to my hotel.

Burger girl however, is sitting smugly sated. She’s had her fill, is contented and doesn’t give a damn. Who’s the cleverest diner of us all?

Meanwhile the girl sitting next to me hasn’t eaten a thing and appears to be watching porn on her phone…….. perhaps she’s be eating something later.


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