The Office – uncovered

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Verbal languages:
Acronyms – hundreds of them
Bullshit
Gossip

Body languages:
Persistent eye rolling activity
Consistent sitting position whether asleep, facebooking or actually doing some work

Electronic languages:

Email type 1 – war and peace length creations which don’t actually make any sense, but nobody really reads anyway
Email type 2 – inappropriate jokes and/or comments about other staff members

Staple diet:
Caffeine, sugar, fat, carbohydrates and alcohol (after hours obviously)

Policy:
There are hundreds of them but no one really knows/cares what they are unless you work in policy.

Health and safety:
There will always be a gym bunny to more than fill the desired quota for ‘health’
There will always be an over zealous fire warden who takes their annual job far too seriously
No one really knows where the first aid box is except the girl who gets blisters from her new shoes after a night out on the town

Gatekeepers:
The IT department

Most liked:
Payroll

Least liked:
HR

Dress code:
The official requirement says ‘smart’ which results in varying degrees of car crash couture such as:
The man who clearly gets dressed in the dark and almost blinds you with his shirt/tie combo
The woman who still thinks it’s the year 1970 something
The young upstart who wears jeans and a crumpled shirt and wonders why he never gets promoted
The curvaceous cherub does not believe in clothing above the nipple

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Personality types:
The acronym disciple
The angry man
The whinger
The feeder lady who brings in home made cakes
The permanent dieter who is first to eat the home made cakes
The tyrant who has never heard of nor would condone work life balance
The gossip
Houdini
The stressed out, worn out parent
The weirdo who everyone is a little bit wary of in case he is actually a closet psycho
A closet psycho
The old boy doing time until he dies/retires
The party girl
The quiet one
The pervert

Most productive time

Tea break

Least productive time
Team meetings

Most favourite time
Annual leave

Least favourite time
The Christmas party

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